Murphy lost one of his top teeth and now the other is loose. He went up to Ben and said, "Tooth." He showed Ben, so Ben thinks he wants him to get it out of there.
The neighbor lady caught Murphy in her backyard. She couldn't get him to talk to her so she came over and rang the doorbell. She was fully decked out in earmuffs, gloves and coat. It was like 55 degrees-I really don't think she needed the earmuffs to walk 30 feet to my door. That was my first clue. Second clue: I believe she was "trying" to make eye contact with me. She had crazy eyes, and was smiling and her face was pointed towards mine, so I had to assume she could see me, so I smiled back. Anyway she said Murphy was in her yard and wouldn't acknowledge her. Then as I ran out in my bare feet and t-shirt and pants, cause I don't put on a ski mask to go out in fall weather, she said, "you might want to put on something warmer". I pretended I didn't hear her, because I would have said, "My ears don't fall off when coming in contact with air." So then as I'm running to collect Murphy she is still talking to me, "Is there something wrong with him?" I wanted to say, "Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's wrong with you first?"
So I get Murphy and try to cut the conversation because I am starting to realize she has obviously fake teeth, they are definately man-made. I am trying not to wonder if she had them in, or popped them in to go 'visitin'. I keep saying "Thank you." and "I'm sorry." But she won't let it die. "So how many kids do you have?" "Do you live downstairs?" "What's your social security number?" Anyway, I'm sure we'll be hearing more about Crazy in the future.
The neighbor lady caught Murphy in her backyard. She couldn't get him to talk to her so she came over and rang the doorbell. She was fully decked out in earmuffs, gloves and coat. It was like 55 degrees-I really don't think she needed the earmuffs to walk 30 feet to my door. That was my first clue. Second clue: I believe she was "trying" to make eye contact with me. She had crazy eyes, and was smiling and her face was pointed towards mine, so I had to assume she could see me, so I smiled back. Anyway she said Murphy was in her yard and wouldn't acknowledge her. Then as I ran out in my bare feet and t-shirt and pants, cause I don't put on a ski mask to go out in fall weather, she said, "you might want to put on something warmer". I pretended I didn't hear her, because I would have said, "My ears don't fall off when coming in contact with air." So then as I'm running to collect Murphy she is still talking to me, "Is there something wrong with him?" I wanted to say, "Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's wrong with you first?"
So I get Murphy and try to cut the conversation because I am starting to realize she has obviously fake teeth, they are definately man-made. I am trying not to wonder if she had them in, or popped them in to go 'visitin'. I keep saying "Thank you." and "I'm sorry." But she won't let it die. "So how many kids do you have?" "Do you live downstairs?" "What's your social security number?" Anyway, I'm sure we'll be hearing more about Crazy in the future.
4 comments:
Kasey-you are the funniest person I know. Quite possibly funnier than David or Amy Sedaris. You should write a book. You could call it, "Kasey is Funny" or "My Ears don't fall off when air hits them". Or whatever. I'm sure you could come up with a great title. Seriously I support you. Do it. Write it. I'll buy the first 10 copies.
What you should do to get rid of that lady is call her on the phone and talk to her for an hour and don't let her end the conversation and tell her every single detail of your day that is boring and unimportant. She will get creaped out and avoid you. Make sure you tell her dumb things, like a wierd crumb you picked off the floor and describe the color of it for ten minutes, then explain to her what Murphy's poop smells like and discuss the pros and cons of differant baby wipes, then move on to telling her about a time you were sick and how many times you puked every day and tell her about chunks and things that were in it. Then you can tell her all about Thomas the Train. Don't ever let her talk, talk really fast and then laugh really loud in the phone and snort.
Hanna,
I thought this was all made up, until I got to the "laugh really loud in the phone" and then I got self-conscience.
are you sure crazy lady doesn't have internet to see this
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