makes me sob

miyo is a three year old

Miyo is 3 today! We are trying to get her to understand, "What do you say when someone asks you how old you are?" Her first response, "I'm two-fee." Ben showed her with her fingers and I told her how Miles was 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9. And Murphy was 1-2-3-4-5-6-7. And she was 1-2-3! And she ran into our bedroom and jumped on the bed, while I sang, "Jump on the bed! Jump on the bed! 1-2-3! You're three! You're three!" It's been a good morning.

WE WON!!

I have just been informed by the school principal that Murphy will be in Anne Mehr's classroom! I am in a musical, I am walking on sunshine!

Murphy is getting what he needs! Murphy is going to continue to progress and with only the small payment of the school now knowing me as a "squeaky wheel" or "big bitch", but I don't care, my son is getting what he deserves!

I told Ben after I called him crying with joy that Murphy is getting what we (Murphy and our family) want. I told him I feel guily that I made a fuss, and that I feel like I maybe ruined things for other people. He said, "Who cares! Murphy NEEDS this." He was so on my side and proud of me (even though I have been balling on and off for all afternoon yesterday and last night and this morning). And I'm even tearing up now, my boy, my Murpharelli finally gets what he deserves! The Best! Thank you God, thank you Director of Special Education, thank you Principal Tom Idstrom, you did the right thing!

Our family will continue to fight autism and Murphy will not backslide, it's not even a question.

my email response to social worker's email

It is supposedly the same program and attached to the same room. Several students moved out of the program and they had to do some rearranging to fit classes equally. I talked to the Director of Special Education and she is calling the school principal to see if there are any reasons for the move they are not telling me. She says that she may not be able to get what I want, but she is looking into it.

My specific problem is that Annie is Educated and Certified in Autism and Murphy knows her, talked about her all summer, and brought him out of the worst symptoms. The teacher they are moving him to is not Certified in Autism but in EBD, which I think Murphy doesn’t need as he has had a teacher that specialized in that before and it was one of the worst years of our lives. I told the Director that I realize we aren’t the only family to consider, but I want to try anyway. If there is no way to get into his old classroom after she looks into it, I will let him enter the class, but I will be comparing progress reports and him getting off the bus at night seeing his overall attitude and whether he will even get on the bus in the morning willingly.
Thank you for your quick response.

PS: I’ve called PACER before and they couldn’t help me get everyday kindergarten, I doubt they can help me now. Plus having the Director of Special Education directly on the phone today makes me feel they are taking me seriously and actually looking into the situation.

Thanks again,
Kasey

social worker's response to my email-love her

"Hi Kasey-
I am sorry to hear that this surprise has come up so quickly and unexpedctedly. Please let me know if there is going to be an IEP meeting or a meeting to discuss this issue in person. I would like to attend.

I know that Murphy and your family have felt Murphy's wonderful progress greatly with Anne Mehr. Also, did the school give a reason for wanting to change Murphy from his CID program into an EBD/DCD program or for the change in his teacher? I just wanted to make sure that I am understanding before there is any type of meeting.

Also, you may want to consider contacting PACER. They are a parent advocacy program for educational issues/problems/questions parents have about thier rights within the school system. Thier contact number is 952.838.9000. I would gladly call for you, but PACER reqires the original phone call from Murphy's guardian if they want to start services. Services are free and are at no cost to you.

Again, I would very much like to attend any kind of meeting, and think that PACER would be a valuable resource to you and your family. The last thing anyone wants to see is Murphy regress! I think it would be good to have some questions have the chance to be answered in person as a team to help understand all of Murphy's options for the upcoming school year.

Please let me know if there is anything else that I can do for you, thank-you. Katie Elleraas"

overly emotional plea/someone help murphy!

This is an email I sent to the School Board Secretary, Murphy's last year teacher, our Social Worker, the School Principal and the Special Education School Board (?) member, and various others professionals and family members:

Hello,
My name is Kasey Hanson. I am the mother of a 7 year old child, who is on the severe side of the Autism Spectrum. He meets the criteria for Profound Developmental Cognitive Delay, Mental Retardation, and is severely to profoundly Multiply Impaired.

Prior to being in ISD #196, Murphy was in ISD #11. He was enrolled in ECFE for 2 years and then had 2 years of preschool in Special Ed. He also attended Kindergarten there in an EBD/Special Education classroom. Murphy has self-injurious behaviors and regresses-information to back this up can be found in his school records and in the County Records of Anoka (Katie Elleraas is his current disability social worker). We have been visited by Disability Social Workers for the self-injurious behaviors and were investigated for child abuse. His pediatrician and the County Investigator, as well as Social Worker (at the time Devey Dahlheimer) found his bruises to be self inflicted and we were not written up as being investigated. Murphy jumped out of our kitchen window twice in 1 year and we had a Company come in for a “Crisis” situation. He used to try to break out of our home and ripped screens off of windows and found the garage door opener, resulting in police coming to our home when he was found playing on our street in a 45 mph zone. I had previously contacted neighbors and the City of Coon Rapids Police Department and Fire Department alerting them of behaviors that could lead him to escape and cause serious harm and even death. We had signs put up on each side of the street before our home saying “Deaf Child Area”. He, nightly, bit himself and others (myself, his personal care attendants, his baby sister, my husband, aunts, visitors, animals, his older brother). We had to give our purebred miniature dachshund to the Humane Society because of Murphy’s throwing him down stairs, and off of furniture (this can be proved by the Blaine Rescue center).

We have had a diagnosis since the early age of 2, but knew at 18 months that he was disabled. We were at the point of exhaustion and a breaking point. We moved to Eagan for more family support and enrolled Murphy into the CID program at Rosemount Elementary. Comparing his records from Kindergarten in District #11 to his 1st grade records under Anne Mehr in District #196-you will NO DOUBT agree, he made a huge progression in a matter of months. He can count to 100, he can identify letters. Instead of constantly “going off like a time bomb” he has found coping mechanisms, like blowing into his hands angrily, but not hurting himself or others as frequently. He still has some of these behaviors, but not 10 times a day as before. Now we see him. We can deal and speak somewhat with him. All summer he spoke of Anne. He is a very regimented child and doesn’t do well with change.

I was called today, Thursday, September 03, 2009 approximately 3 hours before his orientation into his classroom. We were previously told that Murphy was going to be in the same classroom with the same teacher that he had last year. Her name is Anne Mehr and she has two licenses under the special education label in the areas of Developmental Disabilities and Learning Disabilities. In December she will be graduating with a Master’s Degree in Special Education with an emphasis in Autism.

I understand the teacher he is changing classes into is qualified in EBD and Cognitive Delay, I understand that she has experience with Autism. I am not trying to insult her in any way or undermine her experience in her field. I talked to the new teacher and Anne and Principal Tom Idstrom, relaying my fears of his regression and thoughts that Anne has been his “savior”. This is a JOB for Principal Idstrom, and he doesn’t know my son or seem to understand the urgency of staying with what works with an autistic child, I also understand he was dealing with a crying woman and was probably just trying to get me out of there). I don’t know how much experience anyone I am trying to email here has in Autism, but you have access to my son’s records, please investigate them and realize the strides he’s made.

As his mother and as his voice HE SIMPLY NEEDS TO STAY WHERE HE PROGRESSES. It’s proven in his records that she brought him and our family out of the depths of hell itself and I will not go back. Mr. Idstrom has informed me he will look into this matter. I don’t know whether or not this is true, because he seemed unwilling to even consider putting Murphy back into the original classroom, and was very stiff in his responses with me. I will admit I was hysterical and very obviously upset. I cried and begged them over the phone and in person at the orientation to reconsider. I didn’t speak up for him while he was in classes that didn’t fit him for 3 years. With Autism you have to break in or they will never get out. I could never forgive myself or the school district if he backslides. I understand I am emotional and there are other children enrolled in the program to consider. But I’m NOT going to not try to get him what he needs. Why take him from the classroom who taught him how to use the potty. How to request in WORDS with his mouth orally? Who taught him “M m Mama”? Who taught him “see you later alligator, after a while crocodile”, and “M-U-R-P-H-Y, M m Murphy”

Please, please, please help me. I need my son to continue to succeed. He needs your help. He needs Anne Mehr. Even if I’m overly emotional doesn’t mean I don’t have legitimate proof that he progressed in his notes home from school and in his school records and his decrease in Emergency Room visits. Conferences with his other teachers were always negative and exhausting. Conferences with Anne were positive and upbeat, telling me about progress, not biting at recess and not being able to identify his own name written down.
Thank you for reading and considering our situation,
Kasey Hanson
Ben Hanson

miles grows up

Today I said to Ben "What a hermaph." I don't remember about what, sorry for name calling. Miles was within earshot and said something about "that's like comparing agnostics with atheists". And we laughed and then asked if he knew what the difference between them were. He totally knew the answer (he said it was due to his Uncle John's telling him about it). Anyway, I asked Miles if he knew what a hermaphrodite was (he had caught me saying it, so I thought I better fix it by explaining it and warning him not to call people that (like his mother just did))? So Ben told him it was having both sets of private parts. To make it clearer, because that is who I am, I said, "It would be like having a vagina behind your penis and/or balls. Can you imagine that?" Ben said to me "Yes." Again Miles heard, and responded to his father, "You already do."