my mom found this next to her love letters to my dad

what is butt dust? email from my sister keri

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget...
This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Down with United-Shitty-Ass-Hospital!

United Hospital is terrible, don't go there if you live in the Mpls/St. Paul area. Gave birth to my first child there and couldn't walk afterwards, they sent me home w/o checking what was wrong (large football-sized cyst along with destroyed ovary removed 5 months later, at another hospital who found it). I was in constant pain and couldn't walk much/get out of bed/put right foot over side of tub w/o severe pain... for 5 months. Now they are telling me their diagnosis of a broken foot on Murphy (x-rays and all) is an insect bite (3 days later). But he's still limping. WTH?

PS: This is also the hospital where I went when bleeding occurred during my second pregnancy. The snotty-bitch check-in lady said, "I'm just letting you know, if you are miscarrying, we can't do anything about it." Then I went up to ask a question, and the guy in front of me at the counter was told, "Sir, move to the side, the woman behind you is hemorrhaging and gets priority care." Thanks for sharing my business with the world, Hagasaurus Rex. PS: I did miscarry, but not for 2 more days, and on that day after waiting 1 1/2 hours in the waiting room they found a heart beat. After they transferred me to the Birth Center, where healthy pregnant women were while I balled my head off. Then being wheeled back down to ER because they don't do miscarriages in the birthing center. Mistake after mistake, after mistake...

murphy broke his foot

This is not Murphy's x-ray. This kid in the picture actually fractured two bones. Murphy fractured the top of his foot somehow (one bone, like a crack), and with his swollen foot he managed to jump on the couch and run around, with barely a whimper. I freaked and Shene drove Murphy and me to the ER. Turns out, he must have landed wrong or dropped something on it. Even with a PCA and his parents and uncle and brother and sister in the house, no one had a clue, till Shene gave him his nightly bath and he whimpered a little when she scrubbed the bottoms of his feet. But if you tell him to pee in the toilet, he'll cry and swear for half an hour. Confusing little sweetie. I'm just glad he's not FREAKING out. Maybe tomorrow he will, when he wakes up with a splint. If he gets even half way close to unwrapping it, I'm demanding a cast. I can't keep bandaids on him, I have no idea how he will react to a splint and bindings. Poor sweetheart.

mom this goes out to you

one of my ultimate karaoke songs!

mason jennings the ultimate lover through song